the tide has turned so I'm moving on...

Even though I had a c-section, the doctor had to use forceps to pry Emery out of the womb. He had wedged himself tightly into the base of my rib cage and didn't want to come out easily (I know, I know, it does sound like Buster and his claw marks). I remember not knowing that he had finally been forcefully brought into this world, but that all of the sudden I was able to take a really deep breath. Pausing from whistling an annoying tune, the anesthesiologist commented it was because the little one was out and that my body was now my own again.



I think of that often as I take deep breaths now. But I also realize for the last 5 months, my arms have not been my own. If he's not sleeping in my arms, he wants to play in my arms. If he's not playing in my arms, he wants to eat in my arms. This afternoon, the tide turned. Something switched and there's been more time out of my embrace than ever before. I was able to pump twice without tears or wailing and I even tidied the house (5 minute clean up!) without a complaint this evening.
I knew the day would come, I just didn't think it would happen until he was 12, maybe.